This site best viewed with conjunctivitis.
The 4-1-1
Where would I go, if I could go;
Who would I be, if I could be;
What would I say, if I had a voice;
Who says this, saying it's me?
-Samuel Beckett
"Stories and Texts for Nothing #4"
You're here because you want to know. I wrote this to tell you.
They call it a personal life for a reason. Don't get all offended.
You don't know me yet. Let's get to know each other. Only then
will you see my rage, my fire, my hatred, and the pure white light of
grace that shines from my heart and the love of my soul.
Who I am is Where I've Been
One of those Chain Letter Question Things
Facts
Contact : 'whois spinster.org'
Spinster at Spinster dot Org
D.O.B. : November 09, 4676
Year: Snake, Yin, Fire, Red
Month: Rat, Yang, Water, Black
Day: Dog, Yang, Metal, White
Hour: Dragon, Yang, Metal, White
1977 12 19
Residence : San Francisco, CA
(lat=37.761177063, lon=-122.509338379)
Color : Oxidized Blood Red
Time of Day : None
OS : Linux
Distro : Debian
First Kernel : 2.0.32
Music : All except country
Food : Nasal-Gastrula Glucerna is #1 (because it's not supposed to even remotely taste like food.) Chinesee, Japanese, Indian
Religion : Sucks, but I made my own. See my new theology as described in my blog.
Favorite Movie(s) : All of Kevin Smith's, Fight Club, The House of Yes, Naked Lunch, (You're just going to have to guess which PARTS (and by parts, I mean, hold your breath and count the seconds, damnit!) of these movies I don't live!), Victorian or Chinese Based
Hobbies : Linux Advocate, Microbiology, Parisitology, Linux, Tolkien
(and, apparently) amusing stalkers.
Car : 2003 Honda Civic. Black.
IM : GAIM
ICQ : 1717217
Yahoo : dev_random_generator
AIM : maelingmak
Google Talk : spinster
You could catch me on Skype these days, but I dare you to find me on one of the others!
Skype : maelingmak
Resumé
Resumé
Who? What? Where? When? Why?
My Philosophy?
"There isn't much I have to say that I hadn't rather just shut up and do." -Ani DiFranco
Why vegetarian?
I lost alot of pets to meat markets as a child. I don't like meat- the grease smell makes me do the technicolor yawn.
Why "spinster"?
Because in the olden days of 2600 meetings, the H4x0r kiddies used
to
try and pick me up.
"What's your handle?" "Spinster, now fuck off."
Volunteer work? Associations?
Member :
Electronic Frontier Foundation
American Civil Liberties
Union
American Association for the Advancement of Science
Elvish Linguistic Fellowship
National Rifle Association
Volunteer :
Any kind of tutor I can be when students ask.
The Linux Community thrives within my cardiovascular system.
What do you hate most about your life?
People who don't watch Buffy, but live it anyway when it comes to me:
"Kick a dolly when he's down. That was always your style."
-Drusilla/The First, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", "Bring on the Night"
What do you like most about your life?
My family, my professors, my cat, music, computers,
science (any and all (eeewwww, except botany!)),
the pieces of my brain that still function, my will, my testosterone level.
Dream Job?
Quality Control Microbiolgist or R&D in Antibiotics
ETA?
Maybe six or so years.
Why aren't you modeling anymore?
My agency went out of business. I was too lazy to
find another one. I still do "pose for prints."
Favorite Schools :
Christian Brothers
University,
Faculty! It's been over 10 years, and we're
still in
touch. PLUS! they have great resources for
research.
.
University
of San
Franciscisco
Faculty.
I never attended
this school,
only did my
research
there. I hope to go to grad school there.
College
of
Marin
Faculty,
faculty,
faculty!
Dominican
University
of
Californaia
I
got my
B.Sc.
there.
The
faculty
is
the
only
real
reason
to
go
there.
They're
like
family.
Just
stuff
The Ani DiFranco Quotes that I Believe Apply to Me
I pulled most of the QUOTES out of here. Read them. They're gooooood.
i understand, but i don't.
DO NOT FUCK WITH ME MALICIOUSLY.
Never ask me if I'm okay.
Totally oblivious. Pass the Clue by Four. I can take it. [Ouch! Not so hard!]
Under punnishment of total digital ostracisation, never even alude to how/what you THINK any/all of my network should run.
You want to come over and sniff my panties while you're at it?
There's a reason I call it MY network.
I am literally a mad scientist.
Don't touch anything in my house - you don't know what I've used it for. Anything. (Well, except for the autoclave and the jar of Ascaris.)
Yeah, don't touch my a baaaayyyyyybbbbbbbiiiieeeesssss!
I'm a former mental patient, a biologist, a writer, and heavily into healthcare.
Who am I? It's like somebody morphed Tyler Duren, Lisa Rowe, Sylvia Plath, Beatrix Potter, Rosalind Franklind,
Edgar Allan Poe, T.S. Elliot, Randall Patrick McMurphy, The Bird Man of Alcratraz, Dr. Doolittle, Patch Addams, Hunter S. Thompson,
Tony Montoya, Sabin & Saalk, and, um, I guess Franz Kafka into, well, a me-shaped person. (Totally don't ask me which part of
my ass that list came from...)
I live my first and second amendment rights. Use your ardent politicing energy to buy a set of earplugs and a flack jacket.
If you find him, DO NOT TOUCH MY GUN,
unless you have shown me your HSC card first.
I am a figment of Stanislav Kelman's imagination.
If you don't cat me > /dev/random, you might as well cat me > /dev/null!
I am currently NOT medicated, and very mentally stable.
I know for a fact that RMS and ESR agree on at least ONE thing:
ONE of ME is enough!
Don't let the appearance, the organs, and the chromosomes fool you. I am totally a dude. Tell your girlfriend I'm having it sewn up.
I don't know if it's a bad thing or not- can't really tell, but I am a total snob in just about every aspect.
I
have
road
rage
like
the
bitch
that
I
am.
My
favorite
food
is
my
daddy's
village
recipes.
I live a Copyleft life.
No, that didn't turn me on. That wasn't sexy, [shudder]. Sit down, and read memepool before you embarrass yourself even more, dumbass.
My dad is my best friend.
I
desperatly
want
to
learn,
but
don't
have
the
time:
russian,
german,
cantonese,
mandarin,
french.
I
am
not
a
femminist. I don't need the flyer/club/rally/ribbon/pin/bumper sticker/"PC lingo".
I've
got
bigger
balls
than
almost
every
man
I've
met.
Not
suprisingly,
I
do
not
get
along
with
straight
girls.
I
prize
brains.
Geeks.
Nerds. Dorks.
Most
if
my
friends
are
aged
10-15+ years older or 10-15+ years younger than I am.
I've had so much drama in my life, I'm going to be reincarnated ancient greek.
I
drive
like
a drunk batman who's been sniffing glue.
I'm not all that bright, and not all there, so if I start talking over your head. DUDE! STOP ME & ASK WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
I'm practicing to be a Hong Kong cabbie.
I
am
crass
as
crass
can
get.
I am the potentate and sovereign master of personification. Seriously, not a noun in all the land is safe.
I'm
honest
probably
when
I
shouldn't
be.
I might sound like it, but I'm really not very well read. I guess I just have really good taste in authors or something.
I'm
addicted
to
books
and
tattoos.
Does
that
make
me
pretentious?
Don't bother with my libido. I wouldn't call myself a cold fish, but if I have to put it on a scale, I hope you're familiar with Kelvins.
Wait... Are you Andrew...?
I
despise
deceit
on
anyones
part.
I'f
it's
not
Micro,
it's
not
biology.
If
you
can
survive
college,
you
can
survive
anything.
I
am
the
queen
of
repeat
on
XMMS.
I run pythonxmms-remote, the CLI controller for XMMS. Rock.
Life
is
pain
without x10.
Google
is
God.
Not that I'm all that great at it myself, but I will correct your grammar mid sentence (I do this to myself as well). Stop me, and I'll correct your whole face.
I
worship
my
cat.
I
can't
live
without
music.
I
own
over
400
books.
I
can
no
longer
tolerate
TV. Mnemonic memory + commercials = Clockwork Orange!
I
can't
sit
next
to
any
of
my
computers
for
more
than
5
minutes
without
at
least
touching
it.
I
learned
all
the
HTML
I
use
in
a
3-hour
seminar
at
Christian
Brothers
University for Netscape 3.0.
Wheaton
tried to
convince
me
I
was
a
31337
h4x0r. BAH!
I
love
too
freely.
I
live
for
my
friends
and
my
family.
I
wanna
learn
c.
I
still
think
JavaScript
scrollers
are
funny.
I also still think < bg sound with loop=ifinite> is funny.
Why
write
anything
if
you
don't
use
Vim?
People who use nano amuse me. Why not just use notepad?
I
will
not
let
my
users
install
PINE.
I
wanna
be
a
bigger
geek
than
I
am.
I
like
to
write
in
all
lower
case
letters.
I
am
not
making
a
statement,
I
just
like the way it looks.
I
am
very
happy
with
who
I
am.
(the
rest
of
the
world
is
another
question.)
Politics
make
me
cry.
I
think
the
the
EFF
is the
greatest
organization
ever
made.
I
actually
miss
the
days
of
script
kiddies.
I
wear
my
pajamas
in
public.
I
am
a
bad
poet
and
know
this.
I
am
also
an
introspective
nightmare.
If
I
like
a
movie,
I
will
know
everyone's
part
after
watching
it
3
times.
I
am
practicing
learing
to
auditorally
decoding
DTMF
again.
I
want
to
be
able
to
read
binary
from
hex.
I own a Sigarms P-220 .45 named "Siggy.".
KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING
Being woken up in the
middle of the night with a proposed baby killing scociopath watching me
sleep didn't do a whole lot for my REM cycles. Was I next? Siggy helps me sleep at night. [cough] PTSD! [cough]
I
love
pathological
workings.
(Mainly Physiopathology)
I
got
into
parisitology
when
our
cat
threw
up
nematodes
when
I
was
little.
I
got
into
computers
when
I
was
4
years
old
and
pharmacology
when
I
was
5.
I
"dance
like
no
one's
watching."
I can have entire conversations in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Firefly quotes. (But probably only with Neil Sigua.)
Joe
Cartoon
rules.
I
usually
only
read
dead
authors.
I
can
be
desribed
by
a
series
of
movies.
If
you
can't
do
it
on
Linux,
it's
most likely just a
game.(literally)
I wish I could sing.
My HTML constantly needs udating. My server needs unfucking. Sigh.
I live for the little things, but the little things usually upset me.
I am a consumer.
Men who know their math turn me on.
I dream too much.
I talk too much.
I emote too much.
"I quote too much." -Self (I made a recursive funny!)
If you're not laughing at yourself, I guarantee you I am.
I attract the "crazies".
Even if I can't think of anything to do with it, I sit in front of my computer. It makes me feel whole.
I don't like to wear clothes. "Wearing nothing is divine. Naked is a state of mind." -Lucious Jackson
I'm one of those chinamen who WILL NOT turn on the heater for ANY reason, so the naked thing is pretty OUT.
My whole policy on modesty is based on biology- if you can see it in a text book, I really don't give a shit if you see it on me.
Case study, anyone?
I always cite my resources. If i don't know them, I cite that fact.
I relate to Jean-Paul Sartre entirely too much. (Not to mention Beckett and Genet)
I can't sing, but I sure as hell do it alot.
I love to memorize things : poems, songs, dialogues...
I have to have an origional IBM "clickety" (Model-M) keyboard. Nothing else will do. (having no windoze keys is a bonus!)
I like to have white sheets & wear white to bed because it is the color of death.
Just when I think the world can't get any weirder, I have a thought.
I am an apt-get addict. If you're really nice, I'll show you my /etc/apt/sources.list.
Directions? Ha! I get lost like a stoned, lobotomozed, late stage Alzhimer's patient with a concussion...
Like a pigeon with its head ripped off after an injection of ETOH...
You can kill who the fuck ever you want- just stay away from the bunnies. (and all else that is cute and non-bipedal.)
I could try to explain to you how paranoid I am about being misunderstood, but you probably wouldn't get it.
I hate to drive with shoes on.
If you so much as look at Mia the wrong way, I will skull clock you so hard it reverbs. I don't care if she started it. Mia is infallible.
I collect kimonos.
I have a working victrola.
I live for employment. (Why can't I find a freaking job?!)
Also, I am a pathological workaholic. (I'll clock out & keep working 6+ hours.)
I love the way it feels when I type.
I gave away my bunny.
Life is supposed to be funny! If you're not laughing at something there's something you missed.
People who don't talk to themselves and inanimate objects weird me out.
Fuck with my network, and you'll be shitting teeth until the world runs out of dentures.
(Unless i paid you to fuck with my network...)
If the boogieman isn't afraid of me, he needs to be.
In order to choose colors for web pages, I download a piece of fine art and use the GIMP color picker for each one.
I don't floss.
I'm one of those chinaman who pathologically turns off the lights when exiting a room, even though I'm coming back (x10 aside).
If you attempt to waste my fucking time, the favor I will return in kind will be to waste a few years off yours.
I DO NOT have the time,
energy, capacity, patience, stomach, nor the atrophy in my pia matter.
Fuck. Off.
WYSIWYG is GIGO.
Read the headers. Amuse yourself. Learn something.
I have no filter between my brain and the rest of the world. Zero. I am offended by people who suggest I invest in one.
Fuck you and the industry bullshit you rode in on. I'm community. I can tourettes until my tonsils bleed.
I've been to jail, and I'm not afraid to go back.
command line gui hating bash junkie
I am really starting to miss crackmonkey! Where the fuck are all the crackmonkeys?!
Fuck televison. I watch tcpdump and tail -f apache.log... (You just *think* you're the one who's watching me.)
Screw WireShark. Gruseome User Interface RAM eating POS. All it is is tcpdump with [shudder] buttons.
(see above line.) Call me "Trinity," and be prepared to be bitch slapped with a sock full of 1 inch bolts.
Some words I misspell because I just can't spell. Some words I just misspell. Makes it fun that way.
Bullshit: Feces that comes from the male cow. Not Male. Not cow (not even born im the Year of the Cow). Sometimes do research on feces. Nope, none from me.
I can count on a forked process who you'll get it from, though.
Why does all chick hygene crap smell either like babies, rotten fruit, or Southern Comfort? I wear men's deodorant.
Why do they call it deodorant if it smells?!
I have (News from the file marked "Duh"-Xander) expensive taste.
Go ahead ^u this page. I bet you cashy money, you'll get motion sickness.
Sell me on wikipedia. Here's your change: "peer reviewed."
Yes, I'm still obsessed with the late 1800's... still. (They did it better. (Victorians did it better. If I hear,
"This would have never have happened in the Soviet Union," one more time,
I'm sending you back!)
I
can't
think
of
anything
else.
You just KNOW you wanna say SOMETHING!
C'mon, now... Do I have to beg?
People who cut the foreplay and asked said:
You might want to make "a fucking lunatic" more clear. You just mention
Bipolar Disorder and a bunch of strange facts. Just say it, you know, own
it: "Hi, my name is Mae Ling and I am a Fucking Lunatic."
-William Martin, Date: Thu, 07 Aug 2003 15:09:41 -0500
God, I miss William. He did his Houdini again. I wonder if I will see
him again in this lifetime. We've always found each other. Find me,
William. You promised me that more than a decade ago. I know. I have it
in writing, damnit!
Wed Sep 12 16:41:01 PDT 2007
I found William...
Thu Jan 24 14:26:58 PST 2008
Back
I'm not putting a date here. I've been updating this damn thing almost [never] lately...